OMG ;)

March 10, 2009

So a lot has gone on this week, thankfully all good. I like had a transformation; that could be either good or bad. Well, I am starting to develop a “life”. Yes, I have one; filled with work, school, and workouts. Now I have a life that involves actual friends. Every night this week, I have stayed up late laughing with friends. I got to bed at one, on a school night. You readers laugh at this but this is an accomplishment for me. I am usually the paranoid one that must have everything in the world accomplished before even thinking about hanging out. To be honest, in the past, I had pushed hanging out to being just on the weekends. Tonight I am going to be hanging out with Leah and Serah. I am so stoked! We will get to hang out like we used to last year, I miss it a lot. I miss it more than I ever did hanging out with Josie. I think it is because Leah and Serah are more like me in a sense. In some they are opposites, but I can laugh and have a good time always, well now that everything is settled out between us. I feel like it is a place I can go and not worry about anyone judging me. I am learning that my teammates are not just teammates, they are my network of girlfriends. When I came to Bethany College this was not really a concept that was embraced amongst my prior teammates. We never did stuff like this when the old seniors were here. I feel like I have a bond with my teammates. We can laugh and joke on and off the court. We can also have deep conversations, which brings us closer on and off the court. It feels like a change these past couple of weeks since the volleyball get together. I mean, I am going to hang out with volleyball tonight, and we are going to the club on Thursday. Friday we are going midnight bowling and then Saturday night, who knows what we will get into. I LOVE THAT. I still hang out with Rodney but he and I both feel like we need to have friends and a life outside of each other. That is what will make our relationship last.

O and I had another Logic test on Wednesday, but I am pretty sure I am going to ace it; which will even further solidify my A. I am on my way of writing a proposal to the Academic Dean for two things; one to increase my scholarship since I will end this semester with my third consecutive 4.0. Second, to allow me take a summer class and not pay for it since I missed interterm and paid for that. I hear that it has not been done before. I have a hard time accepting the answer no, but I am confident that I will bring a strong case. If not, then I will reevaluate my case and go back. It never hurt to ask, so it never hurts to ask twice J

Acne is gotten a little bad, or maybe has not changed, either one

Mood: freaking ecstatic!

March 11, 2009

I got my Logic test back…95!!! Woot woot!

I got an email today from a PSI graduate named Lauren. She heard of me through Jaime Winters, who is posting an article about me for the PSI Voice (The article will be up Monday and I will attach the link). Anyway, Lauren is building a church…in Africa. She wants to know if I am interested. I was reading the email and I almost jumped out of my seat in absolute joy. I want to get the details on it, but I am praying that it works out because this is an opportunity of a lifetime!! I just get butterflies when I think about it!

I almost had a melt down…for the oddest reason. I felt like I could just fall to tears this evening. Nothing was even wrong. Maybe there was, we were scrimmaging today, and coach moved me from left to right. This probably means nothing and she is just changing up the lineup, but it got to me. It made me feel like I am not good enough to play outside. Also, I was also a little ticked because my body hurts everywhere. There is no time to relax. It started in my right hip flexor and now it is both of them, plus both my knees, plus my lower back. Who knows, I hate taking Advil but I am going to make an exception and hopefully rest up because I am dehydrated, going through hot flashes with a stuffy nose and sore throat. Oh no! I need to get better.

Another thing that bothered me today was I wish that I did not care as much as I do about grades. How I wish I could just say, “You know what I am going to learn, no matter what the grade.” Ha! I feel like it I give myself the opportunity to slack, I will. I just tell myself that someday it will not be like this. I am interested in the learning material we cover, so maybe I am learning. I like reading it; maybe I am just wiped out. Who knows? I honestly would feel like a failure if I did not meet my goal of graduating with a 4.0. It is embedded into my head somewhere, that if it is not an A then I was not trying. I just need to find a balance. Sometimes I despise it. In all reality the core to my stress is probably for my weigh in. I feel like I eat nothing, so today when I did eat something more than normal, I felt like I was going to have a bad weigh in. I need not think about such trivial causes. I need an escape, oh how convenient, Spring Break. Yep, that is what my problem is; I miss home!

I feel so much better now that my thoughts are out in the open.

Mood: A little bit of everywhere.