Day Sixteen

My face is red today, redder that it was in the previous days but the burning has ceased! A few more pimples are about to pop up but this is understandable since I am not putting any topical medication on my face. For once I will be able to sleep on a colored pillow case without it bleaching! O, the little things that make me happy.
I did not post anything yesterday because I was not in the greatest mood and I felt like I had nothing to say. There was not one thing that I was particularly upset about but I just generally felt testy. Practice had gone well; all we had to do was our jump workout. I think Leah and I are mentally butting heads. When we all first got back we were cool but now that Serah is back I feel like we have tension. She might feel as if I am intruding with her captain senior status, but I do not care. I am just going to continue what I was doing before. I do not know why it is this way, that is only my best guess but her non verbal communication and lack of verbal communication leads me to make such assumptions. I do not like it so I will act like it is not there and maybe she will come around. Also, it might be because we are always on opposites sides of the net and we are always competing for the outside position for next year. So every time we play we are trying to out play the other. This to me is fantastic because it is making us better players.
Then yesterday we got done and I decided to see what Rodney was doing so I walked home with Schlepp. My hip is hurting still (last week I pulled my hip flexor and did nothing about it so then the muscles compensating for the hurt hip flexor are now hurt. As a result, the whole right side of my groin area is pain) but anyways I walk in and he just says, “Hey.” He is playing the stupid baseball video game with a fatty chew in. Two things that I am already not content with. I honestly do not mind that he chews because I know it is a baseball thing. I know that when baseball is over that it will stop. Honestly, I chew gum almost constantly so I am not going to get on him for his habit. I sit next to him and I pull out my homework…still nothing from him. After about five minutes I am trying to actually do my homework and he is poking me and trying to get my attention. Sadly, I was still irritated. We go and get dinner and then he drops me off at work. I think the thing that got to me is I feel like I am going and doing things constantly. I have two jobs, with volleyball, and still trying to maintain a 4.0. He is playing video games. I send his hints about how he should come over and say bye since they leave for Oklahoma tomorrow for a double and he did not get them, so he left without even saying bye. Then I look at it from another angle and try to justify that he really is busy and this is his down time. Well then where is my down time? When is it my break from having to do something? It feels like I am constantly on the go, like I leave class to go to practice and I leave practice to go to work, eating dinner at work and then I leave work to go be on duty. So I am showering at midnight and starting all over again the next day. I have breaks between my classes but I can honestly say that I am doing homework in those gaps or I am cleaning. I feel like “my time” is in the shower or the one weekend treat I get for having a good weigh in. One thing I do like is that I am not stressed yet. I just do everything is a habitual-like manner and I get everything done and remaining calm. I have not had one freak out this whole semester…almost two weeks! Look at me go!
I woke up this morning and another day has begun. I am still enjoying my classes; we will see how much I am enjoying them after our first tests next week. I wish I had an oral test or a computer test that told me instantly if I got a question right or wrong. Then I get really into it because it is like a game. I treat every assignment or test as a win lose. A=win and anything else is a loss. Yorton will be my hardest and most exciting. Actually, I did have spare time today (I finished all of my homework!), I did my Logic cd, just for fun. That is just as good as a video game to me. I actually would argue that it is better. We are at the word problems, for example, where you have six people, six occupations, and six clues. Through the clues you are supposed to figure out which person goes to where and logically think it out. I spent an hour and a half doing problems like this. It is just so exhilarating to get an answer right, especially when I am diagramming. I feel so good about myself because I struggle and struggle and then finally I comprehend it and I got it!
We practiced today; we do a lot of things on Thursdays-lift, agility, jumping program, abs, and then play. We played, Leah was on my side for a change and we seemed to connect better than in previous days. Then I came back took a shower and then headed to work…o wait, my boss does not like to show up to work. Yesterday I waited half an hour before I got let in and then tonight as well but I just ended up leaving because it is unacceptable and I have things to do with my time. I emailed her about it saying that it is wasting my time to sit outside in the cold with freezing hair, that she made a commitment and she needs to stick with it. Lastly, I told her that if something comes up she needs to call us and let us know not just not show up. Sadly, this is a woman who’s job is working for the college…I ended up going to the computer lab and printing off the various papers that I needed for class tomorrow. Also the symbols for my relationship map. It is going to look amazing! I cannot wait to actually get started on it! So I did my rough rough draft, now let’s see what my rough draft will look like. I also did my outline for Interpersonal Communication. His rubric said short and to the point, well mine is six pages. It is only a ten point assignment, I do not think my next one will be as detailed. I make it detailed so that I can understand. The assignment is for him but it is more for me because I have to be able to understand it, sadly I understand things when they are lengthy.
Rodney will be home by eleven. I think I am going to do some cleaning and compress my computer files on my three different hard drives.
I realized that the underlying reason why I was upset was because Saturday night is date night; it is also Valentine’s Day. Yes, I know it is baseball season. They have a double header that day which should get over between 5:30 and 6. ( It is suppose to be rainy and cold…so maybe no baseball.) However, volleyball has to be in the gym at five for the club tourney and then they wanted to play after. We worked it out to where we are going to just clean up on Saturday and then play tomorrow and Sunday. Maybe it will all work out, who knows…I also want to take Rodney to that musical…so we will see where that fits in! I am just going to believe that everything will work out…in one way or another. I cannot believe that I was so mad at him yesterday for factors that neither he nor I could control. We talked about it and are better.
I think I am going to write a whole new blog, most likely this weekend. I have to be in a certain mood to right it. It will be called, “What Could Have Been”. It is going to talk about the possible decisions that I could have made and what my life could have looked like.
Mood: Content, Busy, Unafraid of the Future