Friday!!

Last night I went to hangout with Rodney and off to the computer lab we go. I understand that he has homework but one thing that I will never understand is why he waits until the last minute. He has a test over Canada, Central and South America with the surrounding seas…his test was today at 8 in the morning and at 11:30 last night he went and printed out his maps. He says that it is a baseball thing to not have homework in the vans. This is the complete opposite of my team at least two of us are doing homework at a time all the time. I am so torn on wanting him to enjoy his senior year. He freely admits that school goes on the back burner, which is a concept that I feel like I will never understand either. One of the reasons I see Rodney so late at night is so that I can get my homework done. I will let it be, he is a grown man who makes him own decisions, most times, and he has a good head on his shoulders. However, I would guarantee that if his work ethic for baseball were the same for school then he would be the one with the 4.0. We ended up not hanging out because he had to study and Brian was frustrated with Tanya and needed to vent. This is a situation that has bells and whistles that declare…dysfunction. It is also relationships such as these that I cherish what I have.
School went fine. Starting new things in Logic that deal with identifying the different forms of language, not at all interesting compared to what we have been doing. I went to work today and had to talk to Molly about the email I had written her. She presented herself well, she used “I” statements to clarify her feelings which is good to do. I think she wanted me to apologize, but as my best friends and parents know, well anyone that knows me actually, knows that I do not believe in apologies. “Sorry” is over said and rarely meant. Besides for me to say it, I would have to be sorry for something; which I was not because if I was sorry then it would not have happened. It really does bother me, the people that are so emotionally connected that anything can hurt their feelings. She gave me her personal cell and I said that I would write down the days that I would be missing and we are fine now. (Technically fine is not really a feeling, it is a word used to cover up some other emotion.)
Brian is going to be ineligible and as a result he is going to greatly hurt his team. He is not going to class because he has been sick but he is well enough to play baseball. What made me mildly happy is that Rodney was the one to bring up this point. This shows that Rodney does realize that school and going to class are important. Brian is in my Logics class and well I would almost bet that he is not going to pass. It has been two whole weeks of class and he has yet to show up for any of them and we have a test on Friday. It is frustrating; I want to shake him like a JibberJabberDoll.
We met up late today for practice. We did abs and had to set up for the tournament. Which took until 6:35 and Rodney was coming by at 7 to pick me up for the musical. I am just not going to go to work on Sunday so that I can come and play. I might go into work for a while because my glasses are going to be in and I thought I would go Tuesday night to pick them up. (The Wal-Mart guy doing my glasses leaves messages like we are friends. He has called so many times that he now just says Matt instead of saying, “This is Matt from Wal-Mart Vision Center”. When I was there ordering my frames he showed me a picture of his kid and we talked about how he and his wife met. I am convinced that I have a sign on my head that says, “Speak to me stranger…Tell me about your life.” I am completely aware of this and okay with it. For some odd reason I enjoy it. Anyways, coach ended up letting me go early to the play with Rodney, thankfully.
Rodney and I always seem to bicker in public, I do not know why. However, we always seem like we are in some little dispute. People must think we argue all the time because of this. Rodney thinks that it is fun and so do I. I think this way because I know he is not serious, and we always seem to make people laugh. I think we do this for and attention and because we hardly ever fight. I mean we have our disagreements but we always talk it out instead of fighting about it. I can honestly say he has never raised his voice or called me a name which makes me not want to do it to him. (In my last relationship there was always fighting, yelling, and crying on my end. I do wonder why were together so long. One thing I will always remember is my dad telling me that he would never talk to my mom like that. I can honestly say that I have never heard them call each other names, let alone ever fight or yell. My parents have been married twenty years so I think my dad is on the right track.) I know that my words hurt and I do not want to hurt him or manipulate him. Rodney actually ended up really enjoying the musical, “I Love You, Your Perfect, Now Change.” It is about dating, relationships, marriage, divorce, kids, death. It really made me think a lot. I think it scared me a little bit when I think about getting married…they say it is forever and I certainly do not want to go through it more than once. I just told myself to stay true to my feelings, take it slow because there is no need to rush. Also what they take about makes me wonder sometimes why people get married and have kids when there is all the stress.
Rodney has two double headers tomorrow if the weather is permitting but it is going to be cold as the dickens so Jen and I are going to bring blankets and homework and sit in the press box. We are going to make cookies for the Sunday game. She likes me and I like her…we connect because of the baseball boyfriend thing…yeah! After he gets done we have plans to go to dinner.
Mood:Content
Symptoms: My eyes were so dry when I woke up this morning I did not even want to put my contacts in, My lips are chapped as well, I just keep putting Aquaphor (pretty sure Rodney does not enjoy kissing me because all he ever tastes is Aquaphor and after we get done kissing I IMMEDIATELY have to put some back on.) My head itches and here is the strangest one; I have these bumps on the side of my hand almost to my wrist, but as I move up my right arm I have one on my lower bicep, on at the bottom of my shoulder and the other on my shoulder. The farther they go up the more different they look. They are about the size or a Sharpie permanent marker but they look like someone has dripped clear candle wax on me.